For years I couldn’t get it when I read I have to love myself. How do I do that? At first I thought it meant like being egotistical or a snob. I am what I am what I am. And I thought that was enough. But as the years layered on, I learned more how to like myself less than love myself more.
How often we look in the mirror looking to correct or polish our flaws? How often do we look to see at how wonderful we are or check in for what we like about ourself? Smile back at ourself because we like who we see and who we are?
MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL – Can I love you if at all?
One day I read it one more time..this time suggesting I look in the mirror and stare intently at me for 5 minutes. Notice my eyes, my nose, my lips. Say to myself, looking straight and seriously into my eyes, I LOVE YOU.
OMG! I tried it. That was such a long and hard time to look at someone I felt so apart from. As the seconds slowed by, I too slowly softened. As the minutes passed, I cried. “I really want to love you” I told me in the mirror. “I do love you, I just want to learn how.”
BREAKTHROUGH
Once I did it once, it was easier to do it twice. The next time I did it, I told myself “I am proud of you. You stayed so strong all of these years.” The next time, after I got past getting the mascara gunk out of my eyes and after noticing my pores, I smiled and said, “You come a long way baby. With those fine lines, you also have a heart of gold to be treasured.”
Lots more breakthroughs later….I appreciate who I am. I accept my perfect differences because they are mine. And I can glance at the mirror with a wink or “You got this” or “You look Mahvelous.”
YOUR ASSIGNMENT
Spend an intimate 5 minutes every day, in front of the mirror, getting to know you. Becoming your biggest cheerleader and emerging as your friend.
Here are some suggestions of thoughts to say/share with yourself….
- I love you, (say your name)
- I am most proudest of (something about you)
- I really like (something about or some part of your body) and say why
- I support you
- I forgive you….. there is no reason for (whatever it is) to keep us apart any longer (use this only if there is something you like yourself less for that you have been harboring). I never want to be that far away from you again.
- I appreciate you, the way you (work, mother, cook…whatever you like about you)
- I’ll take care of you (say your name)
- I will never leave you (say your name)
By the time you are finished, don’t be surprised…..
If your arms are crossed in front…….
Hugging yourself.
It happens.
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