Or “How to Prevent Them”
When I work with clients, I like to first start with the regrets they hold. Since they usually hold lots of buried emotions that are still painful on recall, it is a great beginning to compare before and after results and illustrate how they can make peace with their past. Whereas there are means to upcycle “regrets” from our past, the best cure for not having regrets is to prevent them. No deposits. Then no (negative) returns.
CHALLENGE
We deposit unexpressed emotions in that regret and continue to silently taunt ourselves every time we revisit or even come in close proximity to the person or topic. They will never die until ….. we unpack them, extract the wisdom and upcycle them with forgiveness.
SUGGESTIONS
To prevent regrets, practice these simple “tests”
- When making certain decisions (should you or shouldn’t you…go..do..say..?) Ask yourself: “Will I regret it?” If you think you might….then take whatever action to avoid or answer to prevent or eliminate the potential for a regret. If you think you won’t, make peace with that, turn the page and move on.
- (WARNING THIS IS A BIT SERIOUS & VERY EFFECTIVE) These days, as I advance in age, and lose loved and liked ones, periodically I check in on this one. if you have a conflict with someone you care about or important to you, or you have not been engaged with some special one as much as I would like to or could be… .Ask yourself: if I got that dreadful call, that I lost them today….what would I regret…not saying, not doing….not showing? TAKE SPECIFIC NOTE OF THE VERY FIRST THOUGHTS THAT COME TO MIND (they are the roots and answers you need). Write them down. Then go and do something about it . Today or this week. Take some action…put it on your short term to do list, make the call….just do it.
- Maybe it’s not a person. Maybe it’s something you wished for…or want to do, or a decision you are struggling to make. Ask yourself, “If I found out tomorrow …. My days were numbered, what would I regret I hadn’t tried or done? Take an action…any action. Doing anything is the best you can at the time.
The Secret Sauce to this is: whatever the action, take it and spend your intention WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATION from the other party, the experience, etc. We don’t have to completely answer or resolve the gap/issue…. whatever that is for us. When we address it it will help prevent that regret at some level.
RESULTS
The time to express ourselves is now. By increasing our awareness, tapping into ourselves and preventing the creation of regret, we reduce and eliminate the stress, anxiety, loss or grief that lingers in our memories and instead welcome creations of ease, happiness and peace in its place. Try it. It works.
What could you do this week….what call could you make? Step you could take? What note could you write? What decision could you deliver?
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