And what have you been talking about lately?
I wonder what kind of words you are using about yourself?
I was talking with a friend the other day and I couldn’t help, again, noticing how much negative language they were using “Did you hear what you said”. “You know, oh my gosh, I did. It didn’t occur to me.” they said.
We don’t realize all these negative words and the negative ways we frame and view ourselves and others. We say it’s the way we feel, but actually we’ve gotten in the habit, and it’s influenced by our culture of this thinking too.
Thinking, communicating, acting this way is like driving with the brake on. It’s like you’re trying to move forward and open up your life yet, while using/programming restraint with all the negative language…like I can’t. I won’t, I don’t. He doesn’t. She shouldn’t…. all these “‘nts”, “Not” and also other language, like being angry and sad and things like that, using those kind of words……you are actually holding yourself back.
There are other ways to say things. For instance, “I can’t go to the store, because I don’t have any money.” Better to say, “I will go to the store when I have some money.” That’s programming forward motion.
It’s not “positive thinking”… that’s kind of like “air.” We’re talking about negative words and the use negative actions. I don’t know anything that’s really come out really great when you throw something bad at it that it’s going to have a good result, do you? It’s kind of like physics.
When I am working with clients, there’s so much negative language that they use! I’m writing down them down and when I say it/them back to them they feel pretty bad. And yet, I’m only giving them back their own words. I started realizing I had to catch myself too because what things I was saying nobody made me say them but me. How much it affects what I do and say….and it was holding me down. I changed that. So can you!
I have an exercise for you because it’d be pretty hard for you to go around and record yourself all the time. Here’s a better way: start listening to other people around you and start noticing, just notice, the words, the language, or the negative actions that come out. Don’t comment on them. Just notice. Just be aware of how people say things and how often and how much, and you’ll start feeling that space is kind of heavy and filled with shades of anxiety. How does anything go forward with that?
Once you start noticing on them, you’ll begin noticing it on yourself. That’s when then you can begin to reframe it. Just take a pause…and reframe. Example: Instead of saying “I can’t,” start with what “I can.” “I won’t” …use what “I will”. “I didn’t” changes to what “I did.”
Just change it. What we put out is what we get back, and it should be good. So, I want to hear the wonderful things you have to say. And I’d love to be in that space to see the good things that you do.
So be careful with your words….you are so worth it. Good luck and go forward.
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